Ryan
Sep 19, 2024
A Mother’s Legacy: Triumph, Love, and Life’s Journey
My Life at the Beginning
I'm the second eldest child born to Margaret and David Gibson. Alongside my older brother Hugh, I was raised with my siblings Margaret, Lynn Gibson, David, Diane, June, and Thomas. We all grew up in a two-bedroom house in Burnside of Blantyre, and there was never a dull moment.
Being the second eldest, I never had a minute to myself. I was always helping with housework, shopping, gardening, and looking after my brothers and sisters, as my mum worked tirelessly at "The Cambus Court" Hotel to provide for the family. We were always surrounded by pets—dogs, budgies, rabbits, and ferrets, to name a few. My childhood prepared me well for the rest of my life.
At "Blantyre High," I started working weekends at the hotel with my mum when I was just 12 years old. I loved it because I earned £10 for my shifts, though my dad took half to support the family. I didn’t mind; I still had £5 left to save, which was quite a bit back then.
After finishing school at 16 with 5 O’levels in Arithmetic, English, Biology, Accounts, and Geography, I was eager to work more, so I started full-time at the hotel. I did everything from waitressing to reception, wages, typing menus, and bar work.
Meeting Mark and Early Life Together
It was while working at the hotel that I met my husband, Mark Ward. He had come from working in a bakery and wanted to become a waiter. We worked together, and I had to teach him everything from silver service to broccoli and cauliflower prep. He wasn’t the brightest, and we had our arguments, but something about him grew on me.
By Christmas, when we had both turned 17, we shared our first kiss during a night out in Cambuslang Pub. We continued working together into the summer, and he surprised me one day by leaving a teddy bear in my boots. I still have that teddy to this day.
On 1st April 1989, at the age of 21, we decided to marry at short notice before moving into our new home. The only date available was April Fools' Day, which seemed fitting. With the help of my father-in-law, we managed to organize everything in just three weeks, and the priest agreed to marry us.
Starting a Family
Our first home was in Hamilton, and not long after, our first child, Christopher, was born. Soon, we moved to 13 Cameron Drive in Thornwood Grove, Uddingston, where we welcomed our second son, Ryan, in 1993, and our beloved dog, Sparkie.
Realizing that our two-bedroom home was too far from family and schools, we eventually moved back to my hometown of Blantyre when Christopher was just two months old. Our family was complete.
Memories and Milestones
In 1992, mortgage rates were at an all-time high, and we struggled to pay our bills. But no matter how difficult things got, I always made sure to give my boys a wonderful childhood filled with holiday memories.
My 40th birthday, which we celebrated as a family in the Maldives, stands out. My boys had their own beach bungalow next to ours. Six weeks later, we celebrated Mark's 40th birthday in New York, and of course, our boys came along with us. Those memories are treasures we will pass on for generations to come.
Health Struggles
At the age of 40, I was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation (AF). After spending two weeks in the cardiology department, I was discharged with lifelong heart medication and warfarin. During my recovery, my mum moved in to help look after Chris, Ryan, and Sparkie.
Although she adored my boys and Sparkie, she couldn't believe her eyes when she saw Mark changing wires on the ceiling without cutting the power. My mum loved him, but she thought he was hard work!
As my boys grew older and more independent, I took up a new hobby—flower arranging—which soon became a full-time job. I threw myself into this new adventure, but life took another turn. In 2017, my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given six months to live. She passed away five months later, on my 50th birthday.
The Cancer Journey
In February 2020, my life changed forever. I sat with Mark in the oncologist’s office, where we learned that I had HER2-positive metastatic breast cancer. I was devastated, not knowing what the future would hold. The following week, I underwent more tests, and the results revealed that the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes.
I felt confused and scared when the doctors said they couldn’t find the original cancer in my breasts. They diagnosed me with Cancer of Unknown Primary (CUP). Treatment was set to begin in March 2020: six rounds of chemotherapy, a lymph node clearance operation, and 16 weeks of radiotherapy. I had my head shaved before the first chemo session because, by that point, staying alive was far more important than worrying about my appearance.
Covid and Health Battles
By March, the pandemic had hit, and the world was in lockdown. My operation was pushed forward, but a week after my first chemo, I was left feeling dreadful—constantly sick and exhausted. By May, my health took a turn for the worse, and I developed severe complications, including necrotizing fasciitis.
I was rushed to the hospital, where doctors had to amputate part of my leg to save my life. After multiple surgeries and time in ICU, I slowly began to recover. I was grateful for the time I had to reflect and see my boys grow up—something many mothers are denied.
New Treatment and Reflections
When I was finally discharged from the hospital, I started a new course of treatment, 8 weeks of radiotherapy including Herceptin injections for six months. Despite the pain and challenges, I was determined to make it to my son’s wedding in August 2020, even though I had developed a cellulitis infection that was eating away at my stomach. Thankfully, I made it to the wedding, another milestone that I will forever cherish.
Looking Forward
I know that my journey, along with my mum’s, has profoundly impacted our family, especially Ryan. His creation of Confinity was born from our experiences with life, death, and loss, particularly during the pandemic. Now, I live each day with gratitude.
Though my cancer is not cured, I have medication that should keep it at bay for as long as possible. I’m thankful for every moment with my husband and boys. Life is precious, and I know my time will eventually run out, but I’m fighting on with all I’ve got.
Final Words
Thank you to my amazing family—Mark, Chris, Ryan, Channisai, June, David, Thomas, my life long Pauline, brothers and sisters —for your unwavering love and support. I couldn’t have made it this far without you. And before I put my pen down, I wanted to share some news: I’m pregnant!
Just kidding—just making sure you’re still paying attention! Ha ha!
