Osayamen
Dec 1, 2024
My PCOS Journey: Healing, Self-Care, and Resilience
Article: My PCOS Journey - A Path to Healing and Acceptance
This is quite personal, but lol, it has to be my PCOS journey. PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. My doctor told me it’s a result of androgen imbalance.
From the moment I entered puberty, I knew something was off about me, but I couldn’t place my hands on it. From my physical appearance to my health, I have faced a lot of difficulties and bullying from my peers. While all the girls around me didn’t see theirs and were still enjoying their childhood, I was trying to hide the fact that I had already started having menstrual flows at 11.
Early Struggles
One of my early struggles was trying to adjust after I started seeing my period. I always got stained whenever I was on my flow. It was really, really embarrassing. There was one particular day when my sanitary pad fell on the ground while I was running. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. My luck was that it was raining heavily, so I’m sure no one noticed. It still gives me the ick whenever I remember that day.
The fact that it started at a young age wasn’t even the issue. It never came whenever I was expecting it. It was very irregular. There were times when I wouldn’t see it for up to six months. Then when it would come, it would really be painful. I would feel uncomfortable and hate myself.
Facing Appearance-Related Challenges
By the time I was 13, I had already started growing facial hair. I was already known as the weird girl in class. You can imagine how it felt when everyone noticed I had beards as a woman. And you know that in Naija, if you have beards as a woman, you’d be called all sorts of names. I had this fear in me.
I knew I had to do anything to look normal before my classmates. So, I started plucking the hair on my face with my hands. As time went on, I realized that the hair only increased, so I started trimming it with scissors. By the time I got to 15, my chin and jaw area had turned really dark, and the hair never stopped growing. I was angry at myself and my maternal lineage for making me like this because I later found out they had a history of hirsutism. The hair on my face grew faster, and I also started growing hair on my chest area.
Struggles with Weight and Fatigue
To crown all my issues, my weight was always up. At first, I thought it was because I loved eating junk. Even when I stopped taking junk food, started drinking lots of water, and jogging every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday morning, nothing happened. It was as if I was stuck being overweight.
I started feeling tired without doing any work. It was as if I was a shadow of myself. It affected my self-esteem. I limited my capabilities and never wanted to be seen, except at school, church, and the market.
A Turning Point
Meeting my doctor was what changed my life. It made me realize that there are other women like me out there. PCOS does not have a cure, but it can be managed. It can’t be self-diagnosed either; you must and should go to the hospital if you have irregular periods or other symptoms.
Acceptance and Empowerment
Accepting myself as a PCOS warrior is maybe one of the best things I have done for myself. I am so proud of myself for finally accepting it. As I am typing this, I am about to take my evening dose of spearmint tea.
This journey has taught me that self-acceptance and resilience are key. Every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory worth celebrating.