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Reflections on Bullying: Overcoming Insecurities and Embracing Strength

An empowering story about resilience and growth, reflecting on bullying, insecurities, and how life's twists shape us into stronger, more compassionate individuals.

Written to last.

By Confinity Reader · 2026-04-23 · 8-minute read

Quiet tools, kept out of the way.

Reflections on Bullying and Growth

Bullying feels weird to me, especially when it's from people who should be supporting you. Even after all these years, I still feel like that awkward teenager, taller than everyone else in the classroom. I can still hear their voices in my head and see their pointing fingers. "How's the weather up there, Electric Pole?" they'd always say. I had different names like Giraffe Girl and Ladder Joyce. But here's the thing that always surprised me: most of my bullies were girls like me, the mean girls in school, sometimes even the jocks. I mean, come on! You're built like a brick wall, and you're picking on me because I'm tall? Make it make sense. I remember this one guy, Joseph, a total jerk. He'd go out of his way to bump into me in the cafeteria, then act all shocked when he "didn't see" me. As if I was nothing. Meanwhile, he was about 113-115kg of pure muscle, but somehow I was the freak for being 6'2. Looking back now, it all seems so… I don't know. Weird? Like, congratulations, you can bully someone who takes up less space than you. What an accomplishment, lmao.

The Lingering Impact of Bullying

Don't get me wrong, I'm mostly over it now. But sometimes, when I'm getting ready for a night out or shopping for clothes, I'll catch myself hesitating over heels or avoiding certain styles. Old habits die hard, I guess. The whole concept of bullying just feels weird to me now. Especially when it comes from people who could probably bench press you without breaking a sweat. It's like, are you really that insecure?

A Chance Encounter

I ran into one of my bullies at a grocery store sometime after COVID-19 around Eti-Osa. I can't remember her name. Talk about a blast from the past. She was staring at a shopping cart, looking lost in the cereal section. For a second, I almost didn't recognize her. Gone was that mean girl, replaced by a defeated slouch. As I got closer, I noticed the deep creases around her eyes. She looked tired and worn down. A far cry from the golden girl who used to storm the school like she owned the place. I debated just walking by, pretending I didn't see her. But something made me stop. "Hi,” I said softly. She looked up, confusion all over her face before recognition dawned. "Joyce? memorable, hi, is this really you? You look different." She fumbled with her words, clearly uncomfortable.

Life's Funny Way

We made awkward small talk for a few minutes. I learned she was laid off from her bank job at that time. She was formerly a contract staff and was going through a messy breakup because of the whole stress. Part of me felt a little bit of satisfaction. Karma, and all that. But mostly, I just felt sad. Sad for the scared, insecure kid hiding behind all that meanness. Sad for the woman who stood before me. Former superstar and queen of the boys. As I walked away from the store, I couldn't help but think about how life has its own funny way.

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